May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
50% drunk capacity currently
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
