I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I need moral support for this bender
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
