My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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