i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize