told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
