I feel like abortions should bother me more
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
