The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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