We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
