I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
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