She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
bring money and cleavage
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
