Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
