speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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