My brain says no but my pants say off.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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