Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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