ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
