There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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