yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
