This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Randomize