I can't breathe out the right side of my face
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
