If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize