We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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