Heybabeimwearingurpanties
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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