Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
