sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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