found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
