i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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