Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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