Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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