Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
