Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
