My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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