You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
