honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
