pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
im holly from the hills drunk
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
