Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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