you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
