Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
