your thong is hanging out like whoa
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
