nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
