i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
