you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
my being single is dangerous.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
