ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
