that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
