my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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