He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
