Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
