Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
