It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
