if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
