went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
