your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
