two words: eviction party
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
