last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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