is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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