oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
