and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
