She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
