Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
