I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize