so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
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