woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
