i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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