I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
