as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
