how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
