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i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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