Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
