yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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