I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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